Brian Nystrom
Joined: 26 Jan 2004
Posts: 5122
Location: Nashua, NH4/23/19 9:51 AM |
Ride Report – The Muddy Onion (long)
Note: Some names have been redacted, in the spirit of the times.
Unlike the past three additions we rode, the 2019 Muddy Onion lived up to its name…and then some!
I made one good decision prior to the ride – installing full fenders on our bikes – but things went rapidly downhill from there. The forecast had been horrible all week, with rain projected for the entire day, but it moderated as the weekend approached. Saturday dawned wet after overnight showers, but reasonably warm (mid-50’s) with no wind. The morning forecast showed little chance of rain before noon and after than, only a modest likelihood. Consequently, I opted to save some weight and carry only a light, water
resistant
jacket and vest, rather than a bulkier [i]waterproof[/] jacket. I also skipped the waterproof gloves.
Bad decision #1
We should have known we were in for a long day when literally 1 minute before the 9:30 start, a kind woman tapped Linda on the shoulder and asked “Did you know that your rear tire is flat?” It had been fine 30 minutes earlier when she pumped it up at the B&B, so in a panic, I grabbed the shop’s floor pump and aired it up again, hoping it would seal. The four of us chased down the massive pack, which had already departed and began the arduous, 2+ mile ascent out of Montpelier. Around the halfway point of the climb, it was obvious that the tire wasn’t holding air, so this time I pulled the valve core, squeezed in an ounce of Stan’s sealant, pumped it up again and hoped for the best. Stan came through for us and the tire held for the rest of the ride. Whew!
As soon as we hit the first dirt section, we got a taste of the soul-sucking mud that was going to be our companion for more hours than we expected. While not deep in most areas, it was just soft enough to blunt forward momentum and substantially increase the energy required to keep moving. There were also plenty of sloppy, gloppy sections, but most could be avoided.
We arrived at the rest stop at ~10 miles feeling pretty good. The weather had held and we had metered our efforts effectively. The other woman in our foursome and I wanted to do the “short loop”, which would have be another 11 miles. Linda and our fourth member were all enthusiastic about doing the “long loop”, which added 16 miles before coming back to the same rest stop, then finishing with the same 11 mile return leg. I protested that the likelihood of rain was increasing, but ultimately we allowed ourselves to be talked into doing the longer ride.
Bad decision #2
Off we rode and quickly discovered that the climbing on the add-on loop was steeper than in the previous section (most of the hills on the entire route were in the 10-15% range, I kid you not). Around the time that we would have hit the flat home stretch if we’d opted for the short loop, the rain started. Steady, soaking rain. I donned my “water resistant” layers, which soaked through almost immediately. We could have simply turned around at that point and saved 4 miles, but for some reason that never occurred to us and we plowed ahead.
Bad decision #3
The bikes, which were already making a fair amount of crunching sounds, now started making noises you never want to hear, as mucky brake rotors dragged and drivetrains ground themselves into metal dust.
Did I mention the snow and ice? The wooded hillsides still had substantial snow on them and the ponds we passed were frozen solid, which created wonderful currents and pools of colder air…just the thing you want to ride through when you’re soaked to the skin!
Eventually, we completed the loop and arrived back at the rest stop. The smartest one of us decided she’d had enough and was going to wait for a ride back to the start. Her husband and Linda waited with her for a while, but I continued on so I wouldn’t get cold and risk having my legs stiffen up. I kept a modest pace, figuring they would eventually catch me.
Bad decision #4
At one point, I came to an intersection at a paved road and dutifully followed the route arrow that was pointing to the right. After rolling over hill and dale for a couple of miles without seeing any other route markers, I realized something wasn’t right and decided to backtrack to see if I missed a turn. When I arrived back at the previous intersection, the arrow was now pointing to the left! I was already doubting my sanity simply for being out there in the first place, but now I was really wondering if I’d lost my mind! Shortly thereafter, I would learn that I was the victim of “course sabotage”; someone had changed some of the markers on the course!
I figured I was well behind the remains of our group, but at least I was back on course. Cresting a rise, I saw three vehicles on the sides of the road and, ominously, Linda sitting in the middle. Then I realized there was another figure lying under the space blanket in front of her, who she was attending to (she’s a NP). It was the other member of our group, who’d had problems with his glasses fogging and rode into a 10” deep tire rut, resulting in an endo onto his head. His neck was hurting, he was probably concussed and his day was definitely done, just 3 miles from the finish. The ambulance arrived shortly thereafter and scooped him up. One of the event crew who was sweeping the route took his gear, while a genous woman who lived nearby volunteered to bring his bike back to the start. Linda and I opted to continue, knowing that the rest of the route was downhill and flat to the finish.
We knew descending would be cold, as we were chilled before we started, but it was the fastest way to get back. The last mile of mud was nasty, with several more cratered sections like the one that caused the crash, but we made it safely, if slowly, to the final section of paved road. I cracked myself up when I reflexively steered around puddles on the roadside. Duh, what’s the point when you’re already completely soaked and you have a bike with fenders?
We made it back to the shop around 4:00PM, warmed up a bit, then rode the last bone-chilling mile to the B&B. Revived by long, hot showers and scarfing some high-calorie snacks, we went back to the shop. The organizers had considerately brought out more food, as there were still riders on the course. After a quick bite and a well-deserved beer, we gathered our unfortunate friend's wife, bike and gear, stopped to get him some dry clothes and headed to the hospital. Fortunately, although he was battered, bruised, stiff and sore, he had no major injuries, although he still likely has a concussion. Following a nice dinner and a few laughs, it was back to the warmth of the B&B.
Oh, in case anyone was worried, two new chains and a new inner chainring later, the bikes are OK.
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